Happiness > Absurdism?

Where'd all the good people go?
I've been changing channels, I don't see them on the TV shows.
Where'd all the good people go?
We got heaps and heaps of what we sow.

Couldn't have said it better myself, Jack.

Anyhow. My growing cynicism towards the world has been confused by random bouts of optimism and hope. Let me explain. Basically, in religion class we are talking a fuck of a lot about marriage, and I randomly find myself fantasizing about being married to an amazing guy and loving children and stuff--and I leave the class with hope and near certainty that I'll get these things. How the hell do I know, though? I don't know, I just need to accept happiness as a human thing. I need to accept the idea of humans in general. Like I find myself falling right into the emotions and actions that I call idiotic. I guess I need to surrender to just going ahead and "living." So annoying, though.

And it's really quite hard to not get caught up in certain people who say certain things to make me feel a certain way. PERSPECTIVE, ALLISON.
"Oh, right, I forget you live in an alternate universe called paradise where people wear bikinis in November."
"The only thing missing is you."
So so so many things.

STOPPPPP.